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Strip Clubs and the Lost Feminine

Dancing goddess moonI have a good friend who has been asking me the same question for quite some time. He’s curious and wants to know: why don’t I like going to strip clubs. That’s a good question, one that I have always felt deserved a good answer, but until now, one that I was unable to answer in any sort of articulate way that gave voice to what it is that simply, at the core, I don’t enjoy about them.

I am a married, straight, 37 year old female. I have never been with a woman sexually, but I can and do appreciate the beauty of the feminine form, both clothed and unclothed. If given the option between viewing a naked woman or naked man, I would probably choose a naked woman. There is something sensual about the female body and the energy it gives off. Men, they are beautiful as well, but in a different way, with a different energy. It’s meant to be that way I believe. We are equal, but not the same. The sexuality of a female is sensual and sacred in it’s own uniquely beautiful way. But still, I don’t like strip clubs. But why?

I woke up before the sun rose this morning finding that the answer had finally given to form. Is it the solstice, the burgeoning full moon, the timing of my cycle that has finally birthed it into being? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that the more I’ve gotten in touch with my own sacred feminine energy, the more I’ve come to understand my history as a female, the more my voice has grown, the clearer, the stronger it has become, more assured of itself in a way unlike it has ever been in the past, even when others might have applied those same descriptions to it.

Women are beautiful, sensual and sexual beings whose bodies are without question truly amazing. Why then is viewing them in a strip club something that simply doesn’t sit right with me? At the core, it is because women are not celebrated for what are our unique and strong feminine strengths. This is not a feminist stance, at least not as feminism has been known for the past half century. It is not about equal voting, equal pay, equal opportunity. While I without question support those things, this is deeper than that. There is no doubt that we are equal to men, but we are different. And while we’ve made much progress in this area, and have been and continue to fight for equality, that is a fight, but not the battle. It is because as we find and accomplish these, an insecurity and sense of unfinished business remains, but it’s unspoken and most women don’t even recognize what it is that still tugs, still fights to be heard.

I believe that it is our feminine rites, our history, our place within spirituality, religion and community, the sacredness of our bodies and the appreciation for it that has been long buried and forgotten, relegated to a place of the unspoken. That is the source of the tug, that is battle we are fighting.  Women are trying to find their place in this world. What we are searching for and what we need, not only as a gender, but also as a species, is to value and understand the feminine energy and the balance that it brings to the world when it is able to stand alongside, balanced and equal to the masculine energy. Until women are looked upon and cherished as a whole for their creative energy, for their ability to birth and nourish babies, for their intuition, for the power they hold in understanding emotions and using them as a wise and fundamental guidepost, I don’t think I’ll ever feel right in a strip club. I don’t enjoy looking a naked woman dancing while most of the people around her are getting drunk. While most, because I do understand that this is not the case for everyone, look upon the beautiful woman dancing and aren’t also able to appreciate her cycles, her attunement to the rhythm of the moon, the sacredness in her sex. The strip club feels raw, animalistic, unattached and without emotion. I do not think these things, in and of themselves, are bad, but they are not balanced with regards to the feminine energy. Where is there a place, an outlet, where women are honored? Why is it acceptable that our breasts can be essentially exposed to sell anything from hamburgers to sports, but yet must be covered when giving milk to a newborn? Why are we comfortable with big breasts on TV, on Barbie’s, in ads of every sort, yet aren’t comfortable in allowing an infant to feed from them in a public place? Why do we value the curves of a woman for their beauty, yet dislike the hormones that allow for them? The cycles that those hormones create are covered up, degraded, made into a joke and an annoyance. How many men, women too, roll their eyes and shrug when they say “here it comes, it’s that time of the month again when she gets all crazy with that damn PMS”. When that stops, when we are given our space, when the things about us that make us who we are, that makes us beautifully sensual, are no longer also considered to be an inconvenient burden, when we’re comfortable enough with our breasts that we can feed our little ones proudly and openly, when our sexuality is honored for the creative birthing power that makes it what it is, when there is a balancing energy to that raw, animalistic, unattached and non-emotional environment, then I may be able to appreciate a strip club. When we find ourselves in a place and time that understands the unique gifts of feminine energy and recognizes it’s essential and fundamental place next to the masculine, then I can look at the woman dancing on the pole and know that she’s doing so because she has a choice. I know that there are dancers who love being up on that stage, who relish how their body moves, it’s curves, it’s sways and how dancing makes them feel. I know that there is a place for this. I simply believe that there should be more than one outlet for it, not simply at a strip club, hidden away in the dark of the night, in that same corner where our inner longing also sits, where that unidentifiable piece of ourselves is waiting and wondering when it again will be welcomed into the light. When that happens, my friend, then I will be happy to tag along with you to appreciate the beauty of a naked woman dancing on a stage.

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